


I'll Be Strong Without You

by HartKins



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst, Berena Secret Santa, Blood and Injury, Character Death, F/F, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21897841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HartKins/pseuds/HartKins
Summary: My fic for Berena Secret Santa 2019A twist on the episodes Group Animal part 1 & 2Prompt: Serena dies, not Bernie
Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: Berena Secret Santa 2019





	I'll Be Strong Without You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aimeewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimeewrites/gifts).



> I got the lovely prompt from annebenedicte and almost immediately I knew what I wanted to do with it. I wrote the first draft in November during NaNoWriMo but realized it could've been better so I started over yesterday.
> 
> Some of the dialogue is exactly the same as the show, so don't sue me for plagiarism.

It was the 5th of December 2017, just like any other day at Holby City Hospital. Bernie & Serena had gotten back from a 2-week holiday 2 days ago and they were slowly adjusting to the work-life again.

They both needed the vacation desperately. It had been almost a year since Elinor died and things weren’t getting any easier for Serena, which made Bernie feel helpless. Henrik Hanssen could see that Serena was struggling and let her have some time off, but she told him that she wasn’t going anywhere without Bernie, which he was okay with.

Bernie was struggling to find a nice place to go in such short notice, so she turned to Serena for suggestions and she chose the South of France. Bernie kicked herself for not thinking of it before. Serena wanted to show Bernie all the places she visited while there for several months. It was a truly beautiful location and they had such a great time together being away from the stresses of Holby City Hospital.

Bernie was busy in theatre with a splenic artery aneurysm, much like the one she dealt with the week after she kissed Serena. As she was scrubbing in, her mind went back to that day in the lift. She remembered how cute Serena was at trying to be nonchalant while standing next to her, but Bernie knew how flustered Serena was about the whole thing, which she didn’t blame her because she was as well.

Serena had an easy day on AAU as she was behind on a bunch of paperwork from being on holiday to catch up on, so she decided to stay in her & Bernie’s office for the entire morning. But it meant that she didn’t get to see a lot of Bernie, which made her sad. When she decided she needed a break for a bit, she popped to the loo and then down to Pulses for a snack. She was going to wait for Bernie to finish up so they could spend some time together and have lunch in their office.

Jac Naylor had had enough with Holby City. She had given more than her time at that place and she was just done. The grief of her half-sister, Jasmine, had taken its toll, and not being the best cardiothoracic surgeon that she could be had pushed her over the edge. And she realized she needed to spend more time with her daughter, Emma. She handed in her resignation letter and headed out the doors in the basement. No one knows why she decided to exit that way. Maybe to pass by the place Jasmine had been stabbed one last time.

As she got to the last step she saw a familiar face. “You shouldn’t be down here. You can’t come in this way, she told the intruder. The next thing she knew, she was laying on the floor. She had been shot.

Another gunshot was heard near ITU and as soon as Henrik Hanssen had been informed, the hospital was put on lockdown. No person was to exit or enter the hospital until the shooter was caught.

Sacha Levy found Jac laying on the ground and with the help of Henrik, Professor John Gaskell, and Essie Di Lucca, they moved her into Gaskell’s wet lab and tried to get her stable enough to get her up to Darwin for surgery.

Bernie had no idea what was happening until she walked back onto AAU and saw that the lights were off and everyone was gone. She glanced towards her office and saw Donna Jackson frantically waving her hands trying to get her into the office quickly. When she shut the door, she noticed Donna was crouched down behind the desk with a scared little boy, so she joined them to protect them.

“What’s going on?” the blonde woman asked.

“There’s a shooter somewhere in the building. The entire hospital is on lockdown. They didn’t notify you in theatre?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Where is Serena?” she asked when she suddenly realized she hadn’t seen her. She was scared for the entire hospital, but mostly for her partner. She hadn’t seen her since earlier that morning and she didn’t know where she was.

“She went down to Pulses earlier,” Donna replied before she looked out of the window to see if it was safe to stand up. Just as she peeked through the glass, she saw someone walking around the ward. She couldn’t tell who it was, but she assumed it was a man by how tall they were. All 3 people in the office held their breath for seemed like hours until they heard the footsteps fade away.

The police arrived and secured the lobby and made it a safe haven for patients and staff to go until the gunman was found.

Up on Darwin; Oliver Valentine, Morven Digby, and Roxanna MacMillan were operating on Roxanna’s husband David. He had been suffering from dementia and they made the risky decision to perform invasive surgery to hopefully reverse his memory loss.

Suddenly, the gunman burst open the theatre doors and pointed the gun straight at Oliver’s head and fired it, causing the surgeon to drop to the floor. Morven rushed to his side to try to stop the bleeding while Roxanna took over on the operating table. Each minute that went by was tense as Oliver continued to bleed out, he desperately needed Roxanna’s help. David coded and Roxanna was unable to bring him back. She needed to put her focus on Oliver because if she didn’t act fast, there would be 2 dead men in the room.

The gunman went to Kellar ward next. He knew exactly who he was looking for, and stood right in front of him was the person. Dominic Copeland. As he pointed the gun straight at Dom, a voice behind him cut through. It was Henrik Hanssen.

“Fredrik,” Henrik said sternly.

It was Fredrik Johanssen. The gunman was Henrik Hanssen’s son.

Henrik tried to talk to Fredrik calmly. He knew that if he said the wrong thing, his son would get angry and God only knew who he would shoot then.

The police finally made it up to Kellar and they were ready to end this whole thing. They were about to shoot Fredrik down when Henrik told them to hold fire. Henrik continued to talk to his son, but the more he talked, the angrier the man became and he was soon yelling. He even threatened to shoot himself in front of everyone.

The police stood behind Henrik the entire time and listened to what Fredrik had to say until he became too agitated for their liking. Without warning, they fired a single shot that killed the tall man instantly.

With Fredrik finally down, the hospital was declared safe and the lockdown was lifted. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and worked on bringing all of the patients back to the respective wards.

Bernie headed out to the lobby to find Serena. To hug her. When she got to the main entrance, she saw Raf Di Lucca standing there as he helped the porters direct the patients back upstairs, which was a daunting task because the lifts were still in the process of being turned back on.

“Where’s Serena?” Bernie asked for the second time that day.

“I thought she was with you & Donna,” Raf replied.

“No. Donna said she came out here earlier.” She had a slight panic in her voice.

“I’m sure she’s just getting everyone back in line,” the man responded as he smiled in reassurance.

“Thanks,” she replied as she went to check the other wards because she knew Serena would want to make sure they were doing okay. She headed towards the stairs and up to Kellar.

With no luck finding Serena on Kellar or Darwin, Bernie headed back down to AAU. She went into the office to look for her phone, thinking that Serena had been trying to get ahold of her. She didn’t have it on her since she was in theatre all morning,

When she looked at the screen, she saw she had a missed call and voicemail from Serena. She released a sigh as she unlocked her phone and pressed the voicemail.

_Bernie, it’s me. I’m calling to tell you that I’m not going to make it out of this lift. Even if you find me, it’ll be too late. I was shot in the jugular. I need you to know how much I love you and how much you’ve meant to me. You helped me become the real me by showing me the real Bernie Wolfe. You are the kindest, smartest and most beautiful person I’ve ever known, and I was so lucky to have been your partner. You have to be strong, my love. Stay strong for everyone else, and Jason, he will need you after all of this. I’m not scared, Bernie. I’m not scared one bit because all I can see right now is your face. Your gorgeous face and your blonde hair. I’m going to miss that hair. And your big, brown eyes. The ones that make me melt whenever I look into them. I know who did it. I know who shot me, and I’m sure by now you know too. I don’t know why he did it, and why to me. I love you so much, Berenice Griselda Wolfe, and I’m going to miss you so much more. Goodbye, my darling._

When the voicemail ended, Bernie let out the most animalistic scream and dropped to the floor and started to sob. She sobbed so hard that began to hyperventilate. Fletch heard her scream and ran in to see what was wrong.

“SHE’S DEAD!” Bernie shrieked with tears in her eyes while in the fetal position.

“Where is she???” he asked as he rubbed her back to try to calm her down.

“Lifts,” she gasped out.

Fletch stood up and bolted out of the door.

“SERENA!” he shouted as he pounded on the lift doors. They still hadn’t been turned on and he was furious. Why was it taking so long?

When word got out that Serena had been shot and was nowhere to be found; Sacha, Essie, and Raf were stood in front of the lift doors down in the basement as they waited with tears in their eyes for the doors to open. They silently prayed that they wouldn’t find Serena there, but they had checked everywhere else so she had to be in there.

Their hearts immediately sunk when the doors opened. There she was, laying against the wall with blood running down her neck. They carefully lifted her and carried her out and laid her on the floor before sitting next to her and holding her hands as they cried. Their friend and colleague had been shot and left for dead.

Bernie was in the office with Donna by her side. Serena’s nephew, Jason, thankfully had been off work that day, but Bernie called him and told him to come in because she had something to tell him. She knew she had to break the news to him as carefully and gently as she could. As she waited for him to arrive, she went over what she was going to say nearly 50 times.

Later, Sacha stood outside and addressed the press. He knew Jac, Ollie, and Serena closely so it made sense that it was him. He remained calm and professional as the reporters bombarded him with questions.

“What just happened is not something that anyone thought possible. It isn’t something anyone could have predicted or done anything about. And yet, I’ve never been prouder of a group of ordinary people who in extreme circumstances proved themselves to be extraordinary,” he said as he tried to fight back tears.

Jason finally arrived at the hospital and joined Bernie & Donna in the office.

“Jason, something happened here at the hospital,” she started by saying.

“I know, it was on the news. I don’t usually like to watch it, but they mentioned my workplace so I thought I would listen,” he said.

“Okay. The gunman shot 3 people. 2 of them are in critical condition and one of them is dead,” she said and then paused. She didn’t want to be around the bush so she took a deep breath and continued. “Jason, Auntie Serena was shot.”

“Is she in critical condition?” he asked.

“No. I’m so sorry, love, but she passed away,” she nearly gasped out. She wanted to break down and sob again, but she had to be strong.

“Oh,” he responded. Maybe he was in shock, or maybe that’s just how he processes things.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m sad, but I think I’m also happy,” he smiled.

“Why is that?” Bernie tried to smile back.

“Because she’s in Heaven with Elinor again. And she’s up there with her mum and my mum,” he grinned when he mentioned his mum.

“She is,” Bernie smiled and rubbed his arm.

“She’s not sad, you know. She’s happy up there, and she’s probably having a glass of wine since it is nearly dinner time,” he said as he looked up at the ceiling. “We’re the sad ones because she left us here, but I bet she’s looking down on us right now.”

“You’re right, Jason. She’s happy and not in any pain. She loves you so much, don’t ever forget that,” she said as she wrapped her arm him. Serena always made him more disabled by saying he wasn’t capable of thinking correctly, and Bernie always hated that. She knew that even though he had Asperger’s, he was a smart man.

Bernie realized at that moment that Serena was right, she had to be strong for Jason. As much as she wanted to flee the country like she always did to get away from her feelings, she had to stay and take care of Jason because he had no family left. She couldn’t leave him when the only mother figure in his life had suddenly died, because who knows how he would cope.

3 lives were lost that day on the 5th of December 2017. The staff and patients at Holby City Hospital were emotionally scarred and will never be the same again. Bernie Wolfe and Jason Haynes will never be the same again, but they will get through it together.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you all liked this take on those intense episodes because I enjoyed writing it and I'm happy with how it turned out the second time.


End file.
